Welcome to No, Seriously... I'm Jen Logan. These are my adventures, experiences and opinions. If you are new to the site and can't decide if you want to send me gifts because you think I am so awesome, or send my husband an escape plan because you feel so bad for him - I recommend a few stories to get to know me.

I listen to great music! I also remember pretty much every life event I have had by what music was streaming in my head at the time.

I screw things up a lot! I'm okay with this. The more you screw things up, the less people ask you to do. The things I am good at, I'm pretty damn good at.

My husband is a saint! He truly is. He has stuck it out with me for almost thirteen years now.

Being a parent is the greatest gift in the World! It is also the messiest and scariest gift I have ever received.

Goodnight Sweet Child

Goodnight Sweet Child

Getting out of my daughter's room when putting her to bed at night requires special forces training. She can sense the end of the book coming and she turns into a spider monkey clinging to anything she can get her little claws around. The moment that last page is turned she goes pro wrestler, climbing on top of me and holding on to my shoulders and head. I start my escape using moves a contortionist would be proud of. It's like working my way out of a straight jacket. Once I have successfully peeled her off my head and back it's time to stuff her under the covers. I mean this quite literally. As her limbs come...

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Bravery

Bravery

My sixty-two year old neighbor is training to be a flight attendant. She has worked with kids for most of her adult life so she is already capable of taking care of a bunch of temper tantrums at once but everything else about the job is totally out of her comfort zone. Can you imagine taking that kind of leap of faith into the unknown? I can and it scares me to the core. I also think it's the coolest thing I have heard all month. I know that a lot of people hear this kind of story and say "big deal, she is changing her career", but to me this is huge because it takes some pretty big balls to jump without a net...

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This Day Has Been a Long Week

This Day Has Been a Long Week

Do you ever feel like you are failing miserably at everything you do? Those days suck. Especially when you have five or six of them in a row. A co-worker of mine walked into my office last week and said "this day has been a long week." She didn't realize what she had said until the words had escaped her lips, but she couldn't have been more right in the sentiment. It is those days when everything you touch either explodes or crumbles and there isn't a thing you can do about it but move on to the next thing. I sent my daughter to school on Monday wearing Rainbow Dash emblazoned tennis shoes instead of her navy...

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This Welcoming Committee Sucks!

This Welcoming Committee Sucks!

This afternoon I was at a picnic at my daughter's school. There is a new girl in the kindergarten class whom I had met earlier in the week and my daughter of course dragged her right over to sit down with us with her parents in tow. We all had plates of food but did not see where there were any beverages. The catering company had not brought any beverages and it appeared that nobody at the school had yet been informed of this dilemma. Knowing that I was seated with the most impatient, and probably most dehydrated little girl ever to walk the earth I thought it would be best to run right into the field house...

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Sugar Junkie

Sugar Junkie

My husband is a sugar junkie through and through. Last night at the gym he decided it was a good idea make a stop at Whole Foods on the way home for some cookies from the bakery. When it was determined that neither of us had a wallet, he devised a plan whereby he would use his gym card to buy all kinds of wholesome goodies and take them to Whole Foods where he would find someone using a Bridge Card to pay for their purchases and trade them the previously purchased goodies for a ton of cookies. I pointed out that only a true junkie would find a way to get his sugar and make sure it was paid for by the...

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I Can Do Hard Things!

I Can Do Hard Things!

Have you ever met someone who seems to be good at everything they do? Pediatrician by day, chef in the evening, pro tennis player on the weekends and super model at every charity event you see her at. Yeah, that bitch! And you can't even call her a bitch because she isn't. She is a good friend, the Mom you call when your kid needs a place to hang out after school for a few hours and the neighbor who calls to tell you how sorry she is when she hears your cat died. I am not her, not even close. I come home from work most days and look in the refrigerator with confusion about how my husband can build an actual...

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Thank God my Daughter is a Velma

Thank God my Daughter is a Velma

The other morning while my daughter and I were rocking out to the Hex Girls in the car she pointed out that the song was from the Scooby Doo episode where Daphne was really jealous because Fred was giving the Hex Girls attention. She said "wasn't that silly Mama, Daphne thought Fred liked the Hex Girls more than her!" I wanted to tell her that of course Fred would be a fool not to like the Hex Girls more than Daphne, but I was a good Mom and stuck to the lesson plan. Unfortunately most of stories involving both her Dad and me don't include him giving attention to other females. He's kind of an introvert and...

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Demons

Demons

I went to a funeral yesterday for a twenty four year old woman. I think everyone would agree this is far too young to die. It was not mentioned in her obituary or at the funeral how she died, only that she died suddenly. "Suddenly", it's the code word for in a tragic way that we don't want to talk about. I get it. If my daughter died because her demons finally won, I don't know if I could put into words what killed her. I would want her to be remembered for the good she brought to the world, not for how she left it. I don't know what I would feel if I had to say good bye to my child because the demons won even...

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Just call me Helen

Just call me Helen

I was at a party and a woman whom I have known for a few years walked over with her husband and introduced me as "Kathy". I corrected her (of course) and we both laughed at how bad we are with names, but for a minute my ego got a little inflamed. It jumped up with it's big peacock feathers screaming "don't you know who I am?" and then I remembered that as I was approaching her I was struggling to remember her name, which by all accounts should have been a piece of cake since she shares a name with my Grandmother! Oh ego, you little beast. Of course everyone should know my name. Meanwhile I have walked by the...

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Frenemies

Frenemies

I think the most complicated relationships are between women. I say this because I am a woman and I can't even figure out how I think half the time, let alone what most normal women think. I also don't have a lot of women in my life that I am close with, I have always gravitated toward the dudes. Even as a little girl I watched the game with the men instead of hanging around the food with the women at family gatherings. I think the easiest explanation for this is that I think in very black and white terms and I lead with my head rather than my heart which is common for males. I find so many women are afraid to...

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