Welcome to No, Seriously... I'm Jen Logan. These are my adventures, experiences and opinions. If you are new to the site and can't decide if you want to send me gifts because you think I am so awesome, or send my husband an escape plan because you feel so bad for him - I recommend a few stories to get to know me.

I listen to great music! I also remember pretty much every life event I have had by what music was streaming in my head at the time.

I screw things up a lot! I'm okay with this. The more you screw things up, the less people ask you to do. The things I am good at, I'm pretty damn good at.

My husband is a saint! He truly is. He has stuck it out with me for almost thirteen years now.

Being a parent is the greatest gift in the World! It is also the messiest and scariest gift I have ever received.

Men Really Are From Mars

Men Really Are From Mars

I was standing in the lobby of Aria the other night with a few of my coworkers watching as a line formed for the nightclub and one of the men in our group pointed out that the line consisted of about two hundred young women. He was fascinated by this. What was more fascinating to him was the fact that they were all dressed up in mini dresses and high heels. He said "why would they spend all that time getting dressed up? There are no guys here to impress." I don't know if my mouth dropped open or not at the question but he proceeded to keep talking anyway. He said "I like my chances with this many women." Still...

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Doppelganger

Doppelganger

The last time I was away from my family for a few days was five years ago on a company trip to Las Vegas. I am back again in Las Vegas on another company trip for the weekend. This time my daughter is old enough to know that I will be gone for a few days and she doesn't like it. None of us enjoy being apart, but it is what it is and it gives her some time to spend alone with her Dad which is something she will no doubt look back on with fond memories. The thing with traveling alone when married is you are constantly looking beside you to share sights and sounds with your best friend and they aren't there....

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It’s Vegas Baby!

It’s Vegas Baby!

Now I know why people say "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." It's because they can't wash their eyeballs. As I was strolling down the hall this morning to get my cold brew iced coffee I ran into what appeared to be two large pimps pulling a hooker out of a hotel room. As I was walking by they were talking very rapidly in Spanish and one was trying to hush the other. I got the impression they were saying something like "Don't worry, the little blonde white lady has no idea what we are talking about right now..." Now I really wish I had paid better attention in my high school Spanish class. The woman was...

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Morning Rituals

Morning Rituals

I love sleep. It's one of the things in life I really excel at too. I know you are thinking that this is not really a big accomplishment, but this is an important life skill. We need sleep for our brains to function properly and it is not always an easy thing to do. I can fall asleep almost anywhere at any time if necessary. My daughter inherited this gift of being a very heavy sleeper. This makes mornings a challenge. She wakes very slowly and is usually pretty annoyed that I am there disrupting her slumber. I feel her pain, so I am patient. Some mornings are harder than others. We started today with me asking...

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Karma

Karma

A few weeks ago we were at the child care center in our gym. My daughter heard a baby crying and like a parrot started mimicking the cry. I told her that it was not very nice to make fun of someone for crying. I don't think she even realized it was being mean. I asked her how she would feel if someone made fun of her for crying. She stopped parroting and said "poor, sad baby". Last Monday my daughter went to school sad after sending her Grandma Deb back up north after a weekend visit. Riley was sad about her leaving and she cried at school that morning. A classmate of hers made fun of her for crying. When she...

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The Starter House

The Starter House

Five years ago I became a landlord. My husband and I did this out of necessity when we bought a home for three when we still owned our home for two. I had never been a landlord before but I thought that after having been a renter during my college years and a small portion of my adulthood I knew what it entailed. What I failed to understand at that time is that not all tenants are the same. Our first tenants seemed pretty good on paper. It was a mother and her two daughters along with her fiance. They were only there for about nine months when they asked if they could erect a six foot privacy fence. I found...

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Never too Old

Never too Old

I spent the day dressed up as Rainbow Dash with a car decorated for Trunk or Treat at my daughter's school. It was what she wanted, and honestly both her Dad and I were a little relieved after having done a Kiss theme last year that received mixed reactions. The parents who knew us already knew no matter what we did we would be all in. So we were ponies and we rocked it. But Rainbow Dash can only sparkle for so long before she needs to throw on a pair of boots and dance to a little punk rock. Luckily my husband and I had concert tickets last night as well. I love going to concerts. I love music and I love...

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Hallway Lessons

Hallway Lessons

Sometimes lessons come immediately and sometimes they come slowly. My daughter was jumping on the bed the other night as she does many nights. It's part of her evening performance of "I don't want to go to bed, and you can't make me!" She missed the dismount in her grand finale of throwing herself down onto her pillow and torpetoed herself face first into her headboard. Her immediate response was to jump into my arms and say "You told me to stop jumping, you were right!" I wanted to savor the moment of hearing those three words I may never hear again from her mouth, but knew she needed ice, and fast. The...

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If the Shoe Fits

If the Shoe Fits

We went to see Disney on Ice last weekend, and my child got so caught up in the magic that she became a real princess. As we were walking up the steps from our seats she turned around with a look of panic and said "My shoe, oh no my shoe!" I looked down and sure enough, her shoe had slipped off through the back of the stairs and fell underneath the stands. Quickly, her butler (who also answers to Grandpa) went to check with the guards to see if there was a way to retrieve the slipper. Cinderella sat on the steps crying while all of the other princesses climbed over her having heard the clock strike midnight...

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Goodnight Sweet Child

Goodnight Sweet Child

Getting out of my daughter's room when putting her to bed at night requires special forces training. She can sense the end of the book coming and she turns into a spider monkey clinging to anything she can get her little claws around. The moment that last page is turned she goes pro wrestler, climbing on top of me and holding on to my shoulders and head. I start my escape using moves a contortionist would be proud of. It's like working my way out of a straight jacket. Once I have successfully peeled her off my head and back it's time to stuff her under the covers. I mean this quite literally. As her limbs come...

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