Welcome to No, Seriously... I'm Jen Logan. These are my adventures, experiences and opinions. If you are new to the site and can't decide if you want to send me gifts because you think I am so awesome, or send my husband an escape plan because you feel so bad for him - I recommend a few stories to get to know me.
I listen to great music! I also remember pretty much every life event I have had by what music was streaming in my head at the time.
I screw things up a lot! I'm okay with this. The more you screw things up, the less people ask you to do. The things I am good at, I'm pretty damn good at.
My husband is a saint! He truly is. He has stuck it out with me for almost thirteen years now.
Being a parent is the greatest gift in the World! It is also the messiest and scariest gift I have ever received.
My mom fell in a hole last week. To be more specific, she fell in a hole that my dad put in the floor, while she was trying to help him. So, he pretty much pushed her into a hole. Actually, it's not that surprising. My dad is consistently creating hazardous situations and my mom is pretty consistently falling down. The fact that my mom hasn't fallen halfway into the basement due to a giant hole in the floor before this time is pretty impressive. I remember most of my dad's home improvements based on how someone was injured by them. I have incurred scratches, bruises, burns and punctures to pretty much every...read more
Little girls are supposed to be full of sugar and spice, but a lot of them are full of piss and vinegar. I volunteer at my daughter's school for lunch and recess once a week and I see a lot of sugar and a lot of vinegar. It's always comical to me when I see the girls who try to show me how sweet they are while spitting venom at half of the kids around them. When my daughter was in first grade a new girl entered her class like a little lightening rod of drama. She told fantastic stories about having to fly to Paris for the weekend for her father's wedding and how her brother got drunk on church wine at his first...read more
There are few things I enjoy more than watching people feel uncomfortable. Strangely, I am often somehow connected to their uneasiness. So imagine my delight when I got to experience an old guy feeling very uncomfortable by my presence walking through a casino at 8 am! I don't know how anyone can feel completely comfortable in a casino at that hour but when you think you are being propositioned by a woman in pajamas it's probably super awkward. I was walking back to our room through the casino after dropping off our towels at the pool this morning when I heard one of the interactive tables talking. "Come...read more
It's amazing what you can learn on a seven minute drive. Every morning I feel like I gain a wealth of knowledge from my 8 year old passenger. Most of this knowledge is about the best books in the orange dot level at the library or which girl's feelings were hurt because another girl didn't want to sit with her at lunch. I get the gossip about who may or may not have had lice and who is telling people she is related to Beyonce (she isn't). I rarely get information I can share at a dinner party. I am always looking for this type of data since I suck at small talk. My conversation starters are usually "So, who is...read more
My daughter's first concert was at an outdoor venue a few months after her 3rd birthday. My husband and I took her to see Vampire Weekend since they were one of her favorite bands. She still likes them and walks around the house howling along to White Sky fairly often. Tour dates were just announced for the 2020 Vampire Weekend tour so I thought she may like to see them again. When I asked her if she wanted to go she had several questions including if it was at an indoor or outdoor venue, what time they would take the stage and if the seats were up close. After much deliberation her final answer was a firm...read more
It snowed a few days ago, and buckets of that white stuffed poured on us for a full day. While my daughter was home for a snow day, she decided that it was the perfect time to decorate for Christmas. In theory, it wasn't a horrible time, but I had literally just taken down our Halloween decorations the day before and we still have pumpkins and cobwebs on the porch. My house is like a holiday mullet with pumpkins in the front and santa in the back. Plus, all day I had been laughing at memes on social media saying things like "Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know...read more
There are few things I enjoy talking about more than traffic. I would be a great traffic reporter with my added commentary on how badly people are driving all over the city. I think a lot of people would be interested to hear about the asshole driving too slow in the left lane of the freeway or the guy who ran the red light in front of Starbucks and almost took out a gaggle of teenage girls in the crosswalk. When I talk to my husband on the phone while I am driving he often has to tell me to shut my pie hole about all of the horrific drivers surrounding me. I am by nature a people watcher and I am fascinated...read more
It's been awhile since I have written about our lake experiences. This isn't because we haven't had any, I have just been giving my dad a little break from the abuse I dish out when it comes to boat stories. But alas, there are too many stories to share about the captain and his high seas adventures, so my hiatus is over. If you are reading this, Old Man, just turn off the computer now and go back to watching ESPN or Sherlock Holmes, or anything else. Just avert your eyes from the screen if you can't figure out how to turn off the computer. For future reference, you can just close the lid and this will all go...read more
I am a freshman, again. I am living proof that if you don't get it right the first time, you can just keep going back and trying again. I have been a freshman a handful of times now. What can I say, I like school. That, or I like the idea of a profession much better than I actually like working, so I keep changing fields. I am sticking with the notion that I am just thirsty for knowledge and on a constant joyful quest to better myself. I am in graduate school again and I am finally attending a school where my Dad received a large portion of his education. The Old Man went to half the schools in the state of...read more
I attended a charity fashion show last month where there was a purse auction. My mom, daughter and I all bid on purses in between sipping tea and scarfing down tiny cucumber sandwiches. Right before the end of the auction my mom actually outbid me on the purse I wanted just so she could buy it for me. She knew I wanted it, so she wanted to give me a gift. That, or she is just super competitive or has a bit of a spending problem. I'm not going to analyze her motivations, I got a great bag out of the deal. When we came home my daughter was excited to tell her dad about the event. She was going on and on about how...read more