Ground Control to Major Tom

Ground Control to Major Tom

I am a firm believer in the idea that you do good things and you are rewarded. Today I was running errands with my mom. We are both members of a women's organization that does volunteer work in our community. One of the projects we are working on requires us to set up artificial Christmas trees in public areas with a sign attached asking people to "decorate" them with hats and scarves and socks for people in need. We collect all of the donations over the holiday months and distribute them to different homeless shelters, group homes and warming centers. Today was the day we went to dismantle the trees and store...

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Holiday in the Sun

Holiday in the Sun

Since my daughter was thirteen months old we have vacationed in Atlantis. It's been a few years since we have been here because my husband has this crazy idea that there should be a direct correlation between my income and the number of vacations we take. He worries about money more than anyone I know. Maybe it's because I am capable of spending $1,000 while walking through the airport. There is a candy store in the resort that I have been known to spend upwards of $300 at. In my defense, the bulk rate is $5 per 1/4 pound. When the whole family tags along on vacation I go for a run every morning to pick out our...

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Loyalty

Loyalty

When I was in high school I got into a lot of trouble. I was young, immature, and doing stupid stuff all the time. I was in detention a lot, mostly for being out of uniform because I wore combat boots with my plaid uniform skirt and I always wore black socks instead of navy blue or my shirt was pulled out just a little too far so it could be considered untucked. I didn't really mind detention because it was a place to get all of my homework done in peace and quiet. The one detention I am proud of was for throwing another girl up against the lockers. Now I know this is probably not something most people would be...

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Full Circle

Full Circle

Turning into my dad is scary enough, but I have also married a man just like my dad. I don't even want to think about the psychology behind that one. Years ago we used to make fun of my dad after my mom came home one day to find him painting one of the bedrooms in the house completely naked. He was home alone and didn't want to ruin another shirt with the little paint splatters that accompany a paint roller. It has been a running joke to never show up at my parents' house if my dad is painting. My mom has told everyone she knows about the day she came home and found her husband painting naked, so even her...

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Super Freak

Super Freak

My whole family took a little trip to a fun center out by my parents' lake house this week. The venue had a ton of options including laser tag, trampolines, bumper cars, an escape room, glow in the dark golf and a big arcade. We spent the first twenty minutes trying not to trip over each other while chasing glow in the dark golf balls around the second floor. While doing so I learned two things - my golf game does not improve in the dark and my daughter has not outgrown her poor sportsmanship phase. She makes Happy Gilmore look like a the Dalai Lama. She took about a hundred swings and picked up her ball more...

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Girlfixer

Girlfixer

My daughter was looking through some of my old yearbooks last weekend. As I flipped the pages and looked at pictures of my class, I was a little shocked at how few of my classmates I remembered. I was also shocked that when I saw the picture of one particular girl I was brought right back to being a twelve year old girl and wanting to rip someone's head off. Not so shockingly, it wasn't even the girl, it was her mother. I went to a very small school. There were less than 15 students in my grade and most of us had been in school together since we were very young. One girl that I was good friends with wore...

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Wanna Go For a Ride?

Wanna Go For a Ride?

Practice makes perfect right? There is usually a positive correlation between the number of times you do something and your ability to do it. Driving seems to not follow this rule. Like dancing or listening, it seems to be something you are either good at or not. Practice may help, but if you are one of those bad drivers I see on the road every day, you are never going to be good at it, no matter how many hours you spend behind the wheel. You may become barely competent at best. Taxi drivers are a pretty good example of this theory. They spend more hours behind the wheel than they do on their feet in any given...

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For Whom the Bell Tolls

For Whom the Bell Tolls

My Mom has a bell that sits on a table in her family room. Last month my daughter was playing with it and my husband started saying "bring me my chair!" My daughter, of course, looked at him like he was crazy and went about her business. After he said this three times, she finally asked what he was talking about. I shared the fifteen year old joke with her. The year before my husband and I were married my dad was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident. He was halfway across the state on his way to Sturgis on the weekend of my parents' thirty fourth wedding anniversary when it happened. A teenage girl made a left...

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Get in the Van

Get in the Van

My friend texted me the other day that she got a new car. She didn't notice her new license plate until she was approaching her car from the rear at Costco. The license plate began with "BJ" which made her want to drive right back to the dealership and return the car. I told her it wasn't that bad. Well, unless it ended in "QUEEN" or started with "FREE". She kept the car. I have seen a lot of interesting vanity plates over the years. I have never had one, and I have a feeling that they wouldn't print anything I would want my plate to say. I remember spending some time in Washington DC and being amazed at the...

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Cherry Bomb

Cherry Bomb

People who know me know that I tend to be pretty direct. I don't beat around the bush. This is either a gift or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I like to think of it as a gift. This is probably because I don't really care much about what people think of me. I have what you would call a healthy ego. If I was worried about pissing people off and them disliking me, it would certainly be a curse. It's not that I want to hurt people's feelings, I am just pretty comfortable with the truth, even when it sucks. I would rather hear the truth, even if it stings a little. I would also rather give the truth than...

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