Getting out of my daughter’s room when putting her to bed at night requires special forces training. She can sense the end of the book coming and she turns into a spider monkey clinging to anything she can get her little claws around. The moment that last page is turned she goes pro wrestler, climbing on top of me and holding on to my shoulders and head. I start my escape using moves a contortionist would be proud of. It’s like working my way out of a straight jacket. Once I have successfully peeled her off my head and back it’s time to stuff her under the covers. I mean this quite literally. As her limbs come flying out from beneath the sheets, I stuff them back in until they stop escaping. Luckily she is already fairly tired from the wrestling match so the flailing doesn’t last too long. (more…)
My sixty-two year old neighbor is training to be a flight attendant. She has worked with kids for most of her adult life so she is already capable of taking care of a bunch of temper tantrums at once but everything else about the job is totally out of her comfort zone. Can you imagine taking that kind of leap of faith into the unknown? I can and it scares me to the core. I also think it’s the coolest thing I have heard all month. I know that a lot of people hear this kind of story and say “big deal, she is changing her career”, but to me this is huge because it takes some pretty big balls to jump without a net and just go for something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. This is pure bravery. I live to hear this kind of story because it encourages me to take those leaps of faith and to get out of my comfort zone too. It tells me I am not crazy when I jump, I am brave. I need that because I still have that voice in the corner of my mind that tells me not to jump, and sometimes that voice disguises itself as reason when it is in fact only fear. (more…)
Do you ever feel like you are failing miserably at everything you do? Those days suck. Especially when you have five or six of them in a row. A co-worker of mine walked into my office last week and said “this day has been a long week.” She didn’t realize what she had said until the words had escaped her lips, but she couldn’t have been more right in the sentiment. It is those days when everything you touch either explodes or crumbles and there isn’t a thing you can do about it but move on to the next thing.
I sent my daughter to school on Monday wearing Rainbow Dash emblazoned tennis shoes instead of her navy blue mary-jane uniform shoes. I spent the rest of that day thinking her missing uniform shoes had been at my parents’ house where she had last taken them off only to find them at home that night about a foot away from where they normally are stored. I have a lot of these little mom fails. All moms do. It’s not a big deal. I spent most of that morning worrying that my Mom was going to be hard on herself because I knew she would take the blame for the shoes even though it wasn’t her fault. I was actually a little relieved when the shoes were located at our house. Although the vague recollection of putting the shoes exactly where they were found didn’t help me feel much better that night. Tomorrow was a new day, right? (more…)
This afternoon I was at a picnic at my daughter’s school. There is a new girl in the kindergarten class whom I had met earlier in the week and my daughter of course dragged her right over to sit down with us with her parents in tow. We all had plates of food but did not see where there were any beverages. The catering company had not brought any beverages and it appeared that nobody at the school had yet been informed of this dilemma. Knowing that I was seated with the most impatient, and probably most dehydrated little girl ever to walk the earth I thought it would be best to run right into the field house with some cash. I headed straight for the one and only vending machine in the building and pumped it full of dollar bills while pressing “56” until I had what I thought to be enough bottles of water. I reached down to gather my loot but the door would not budge. I peered into the machine, and there I saw it, a lone bottle of water lodged upright among all of the bottles of water. There it stood, like a big middle finger asking “are you thirsty?” (more…)
My husband is a sugar junkie through and through. Last night at the gym he decided it was a good idea make a stop at Whole Foods on the way home for some cookies from the bakery. When it was determined that neither of us had a wallet, he devised a plan whereby he would use his gym card to buy all kinds of wholesome goodies and take them to Whole Foods where he would find someone using a Bridge Card to pay for their purchases and trade them the previously purchased goodies for a ton of cookies. I pointed out that only a true junkie would find a way to get his sugar and make sure it was paid for by the government. Being the voice of reason that I am, we drove home after the gym and did not try to negotiate any illegal sugar trading in the Whole Foods bakery. Gotta say though, it was tempting.
Have you ever met someone who seems to be good at everything they do? Pediatrician by day, chef in the evening, pro tennis player on the weekends and super model at every charity event you see her at. Yeah, that bitch! And you can’t even call her a bitch because she isn’t. She is a good friend, the Mom you call when your kid needs a place to hang out after school for a few hours and the neighbor who calls to tell you how sorry she is when she hears your cat died. I am not her, not even close. I come home from work most days and look in the refrigerator with confusion about how my husband can build an actual meal out of the contents, I fall down chasing my daughter playing a game of tag and I arrived an hour late to the last charity event I attended because I had spent the prior two hours rummaging through my closet reminding myself why it’s a good idea to try on dresses before I buy them. (more…)