I went to a funeral yesterday for a twenty four year old woman. I think everyone would agree this is far too young to die. It was not mentioned in her obituary or at the funeral how she died, only that she died suddenly. “Suddenly”, it’s the code word for in a tragic way that we don’t want to talk about. I get it. If my daughter died because her demons finally won, I don’t know if I could put into words what killed her. I would want her to be remembered for the good she brought to the world, not for how she left it. I don’t know what I would feel if I had to say good bye to my child because the demons won even after we all fought so hard. I don’t even want to think about that kind of pain. (more…)

Just call me Helen

hello my name isI was at a party and a woman whom I have known for a few years walked over with her husband and introduced me as “Kathy”. I corrected her (of course) and we both laughed at how bad we are with names, but for a minute my ego got a little inflamed. It jumped up with it’s big peacock feathers screaming “don’t you know who I am?” and then I remembered that as I was approaching her I was struggling to remember her name, which by all accounts should have been a piece of cake since she shares a name with my Grandmother! Oh ego, you little beast. Of course everyone should know my name. Meanwhile I have walked by the same woman daily for a year saying hello but never calling her by name because I may not have been listening when she told it to me, or I may have never asked her for it to begin with. (more…)


Crazy, crazier & craziest!

Crazy, crazier & craziest!

I think the most complicated relationships are between women. I say this because I am a woman and I can’t even figure out how I think half the time, let alone what most normal women think. I also don’t have a lot of women in my life that I am close with, I have always gravitated toward the dudes. Even as a little girl I watched the game with the men instead of hanging around the food with the women at family gatherings. I think the easiest explanation for this is that I think in very black and white terms and I lead with my head rather than my heart which is common for males. (more…)

Family Vacation

The happiest place on Earth or the craziest place on Earth?

The happiest place on Earth or the craziest place on Earth?

I’m not sure who thought it was a good idea to come to Florida in August, but here we are – me, the husband, spawn and old folks. My Mom’s idea of a good vacation is lounging by the pool. My husband’s idea of a good vacation is seeing everything the destination has to offer. My daughter’s idea of a good vacation is her doing exactly what she wants exactly when she wants which is typically the exact opposite thing of what we are trying to do. (more…)

Life Lesson from My Five Year Old

My daughter got punched in the face by a three year old little girl the other day while she was at the child care center at our gym. When the little girl was asked why she did it she said she didn’t know. My daughter’s reaction to getting socked in the head was not at all what I would have expected. She didn’t retaliate, she didn’t cry, she told an adult and went about her business. This very minor random act of violence didn’t bring her down one bit. This made me very proud and very confused. I was of course proud that she did the right thing, but honestly, I did not expect that reaction. I expected her to fight back, to get angry, to be outraged. I expected her to think that the other child’s action was about her in some way. I expected her to internalize the other child’s anger or frustration or fear. I expected her act like me! (more…)