Welcome to No, Seriously...
Hi. I'm Jen Logan. I'm a punk rock mom and wife of a seriously skilled creative man, who we should probably call St. John. I am a mental health therapist and CPA and I used to own a record label. I have had a few careers, and worn a lot of hats in my life. I have been married for almost 21 years now, and my daughter is about to turn 14. She doesn't like me to talk about her much because she hates to be in the spotlight which is kind of weird for a kid who is on stage all the time between theater and her rock band. I am really close with my parents, probably to a point of co-dependency, but that's okay. I love them. They are the two people who told me I could be anything I wanted to be and encouraged me to take chances.
The one thing that has been a constant in my life is punk rock music. I can tell you what I was listening to at most points in my life. I know exactly where I was and what I was doing when I learned that Kurt Cobain died and I remember when a girl was struck by lightening at the Tibetan Freedom Concert in DC. It isn't a wonder I married a musician and hear music in my house consistently.
I like to tell stories about my childhood, and my family, and the weird encounters I have in the world. These are mostly just my thoughts written down in a place my kid can one day discover and learn a little more about me. Did I mention I have a pretty high opinion of myself?
Old Guys Dig Me
I love our new gym. It's full of old guys and soccer moms. Last week, one of the old guys walked up to me while I was about an hour into my ride on the elliptical. He stopped next to the machine with a big smile and said "I see you here a lot. I come here a lot too,...
Potty Mouth
I walked in on a conversation between my husband and daughter last night about how all the kids in her class are talking about swear words. I have been hearing about this for months so I was a little surprised that she hadn't brought it up to her dad yet. Maybe it's...
Negotiating With a Shark
My dad is a do-it-yourself kind of guy. He cuts his own lawn (at two houses), paints his own walls (naked), installs his own dock and boat lift (with minor disasters) and does his own bathroom renovations. And for as long as I can remember I have been his trusty...
It’s Raining Men
I went to a male review this weekend. The word review has a bad connotation for me. I think of my former job and the dreaded performance reviews that were meaningless and painfully boring. The feeling that comes along with that word has not changed - I still feel a...
You Make Me Wanna Puke
I'm beginning to wonder if a few days with me makes my family sick. Every other time we go out of town or spend a long weekend together we all end up sick. I mean, I get it - I make myself a little sick on a regular basis, but it would be great to spend some time...
Kiss With A Fist
Believe it or not, when I was a little kid, I was super shy. I didn't really blossom until second grade when I changed schools. But, my first two years in school were pretty hellish, mostly because I was small and shy, and therefore, easy prey for the bullies of the...
She’s a Supermodel
I took my daughter to get her hair cut last weekend. She has ridiculously thick, curly hair. It is beautiful, but when it gets too long it gets tangles. Some are so bad that it looks like she is working on some natural dreadlocks. One day I expect her to walk out of...
Sock It To Me
Apparently my house now has communal socks. A month ago I bought myself new gym socks, but several pair have disappeared. A few weeks ago I found a pair on my daughter's feet. The best part was she just thought I bought her new socks since she found them in her...
Not a Hairpiece
If I have learned one thing as a parent it is that anything I say that I do not want repeated will be repeated, and probably in public. Having a child is a lot like having a parrot. A very drunk parrot. Since I am usually the parent listening in horror as my child...
I Can’t Quit You
We finally cancelled our gym membership after complaining about the place for a year. We were paying a small fortune to change in filthy locker rooms, shower with mold and get hit on by hairy old fat men in the co-ed sauna. I know that last one might seem like a perk...
Pump It Up
I gained five pounds. While getting changed into my bathing suit at the gym I discovered exactly where the five pounds are located and all five are trying to squeeze into my bikini top. Of course the pounds are also not evenly distributed. Go figure. When I made this...
People Who Died
I was listening to the radio this morning as I was getting dressed and a cover of the Jim Carroll song "People Who Died" came on. Somehow I was quickly singing along. I had no idea that I knew the words to that song. As I was listening I was thinking that he had a...












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