Men Really Are From Mars

Why are you all dressed up ladies? Didn't you hear there are no men coming!

Why are you all dressed up ladies? Didn’t you hear there are no men coming!

I was standing in the lobby of Aria the other night with a few of my coworkers watching as a line formed for the nightclub and one of the men in our group pointed out that the line consisted of about two hundred young women. He was fascinated by this. What was more fascinating to him was the fact that they were all dressed up in mini dresses and high heels. He said “why would they spend all that time getting dressed up? There are no guys here to impress.” I don’t know if my mouth dropped open or not at the question but he proceeded to keep talking anyway. He said “I like my chances with this many women.” Still I continued to say nothing. The middle aged nerdy accountant liked his chances with the two hundred twenty five year old girls in line. Somehow I think his pickup line may have been “so, why are you so dressed up, there are hardly any men here….” Little did he know there was a concierge inside passing out sweatshirts and pajama bottoms for all of the women when they became aware that there were no men inside waiting for their approval. (more…)

Doppelganger

The last time I was away from my family for a few days was five years ago on a company trip to Las Vegas. I am back again in Las Vegas on another company trip for the weekend. This time my daughter is old enough to know that I will be gone for a few days and she doesn’t like it. None of us enjoy being apart, but it is what it is and it gives her some time to spend alone with her Dad which is something she will no doubt look back on with fond memories. The thing with traveling alone when married is you are constantly looking beside you to share sights and sounds with your best friend and they aren’t there. Walking through casinos without my husband to people watch with is not as much fun. The bad combovers and girls pouring out of their dresses are not as entertaining without being able to give a little look beside me to the one person who knows exactly what I am thinking about each and every one of them. I was missing him terribly last night, and then we walked into the House of Blues for dinner and I almost fell over. (more…)

It’s Vegas Baby!

Now I know why people say “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” It’s because they can’t wash their eyeballs. As I was strolling down the hall this morning to get my cold brew iced coffee I ran into what appeared to be two large pimps pulling a hooker out of a hotel room. As I was walking by they were talking very rapidly in Spanish and one was trying to hush the other. I got the impression they were saying something like “Don’t worry, the little blonde white lady has no idea what we are talking about right now…” Now I really wish I had paid better attention in my high school Spanish class. The woman was clearly drunk or high and laughing as she bid farewell to the room guest as they escorted her out. I have never wanted to get on an elevator so quickly in my life. And now I want to shower. Oh Vegas, you do not disappoint. I have never been so grateful to be a boring midwesterner.

Morning Rituals

I swear, her uniform is under there somewhere!

I swear, her uniform is under there somewhere!

I love sleep. It’s one of the things in life I really excel at too. I know you are thinking that this is not really a big accomplishment, but this is an important life skill. We need sleep for our brains to function properly and it is not always an easy thing to do. I can fall asleep almost anywhere at any time if necessary. My daughter inherited this gift of being a very heavy sleeper. This makes mornings a challenge. She wakes very slowly and is usually pretty annoyed that I am there disrupting her slumber. I feel her pain, so I am patient. Some mornings are harder than others. (more…)

Karma

riley-with-the-stomach-fluA few weeks ago we were at the child care center in our gym. My daughter heard a baby crying and like a parrot started mimicking the cry. I told her that it was not very nice to make fun of someone for crying. I don’t think she even realized it was being mean. I asked her how she would feel if someone made fun of her for crying. She stopped parroting and said “poor, sad baby”. (more…)

The Starter House

Landlord BluesFive years ago I became a landlord. My husband and I did this out of necessity when we bought a home for three when we still owned our home for two. I had never been a landlord before but I thought that after having been a renter during my college years and a small portion of my adulthood I knew what it entailed. What I failed to understand at that time is that not all tenants are the same. (more…)

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