If the Shoe Fits

Cinderella's slipperWe went to see Disney on Ice last weekend, and my child got so caught up in the magic that she became a real princess. As we were walking up the steps from our seats she turned around with a look of panic and said “My shoe, oh no my shoe!” I looked down and sure enough, her shoe had slipped off through the back of the stairs and fell underneath the stands. Quickly, her butler (who also answers to Grandpa) went to check with the guards to see if there was a way to retrieve the slipper. Cinderella sat on the steps crying while all of the other princesses climbed over her having heard the clock strike midnight (and being ushered by their coachmen.) Luckily, Gus and Jaq were there to whisk Cinderella away to her carriage. This was quite a task since Gus was wearing her favorite Michael Kors suede 5″ booties, not having expected to be carrying Cinderella up the stairs. Knowing that Gus is a fellow lover of shoes, Cinderella clung to her all the way to the top of the steps lamenting over her lost slipper. As Gus & Jaq were trying to exchange Cinderella for bottles of water and souvenir popcorn in each others arms the Butler returned with news that the slipper could only be retrieved by going into the bowels of the castle to a dungeon called “guest services” to sign scrolls upon scrolls and present proper identification. Having experienced the village idiots who worked in the dungeon, Gus decided to head straight to the carriage before it turned into a pumpkin. Alas, the carriage was found still a carriage and Cinderella was whisked away having forgotten about her lost slipper at the mention of her fairy godmother’s awaiting birthday cake. Now Gus just needs to find some replacement slippers before the next ball.

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Goodnight Sweet Child

After a hard fought battle, we all need a little sleep.

After a hard fought battle, we all need a little sleep.

Getting out of my daughter’s room when putting her to bed at night requires special forces training. She can sense the end of the book coming and she turns into a spider monkey clinging to anything she can get her little claws around. The moment that last page is turned she goes pro wrestler, climbing on top of me and holding on to my shoulders and head. I start my escape using moves a contortionist would be proud of. It’s like working my way out of a straight jacket. Once I have successfully peeled her off my head and back it’s time to stuff her under the covers. I mean this quite literally. As her limbs come flying out from beneath the sheets, I stuff them back in until they stop escaping. Luckily she is already fairly tired from the wrestling match so the flailing doesn’t last too long. (more…)

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Bravery

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it and jump.

Sometimes you just have to say fuck it and jump.

My sixty-two year old neighbor is training to be a flight attendant. She has worked with kids for most of her adult life so she is already capable of taking care of a bunch of temper tantrums at once but everything else about the job is totally out of her comfort zone. Can you imagine taking that kind of leap of faith into the unknown? I can and it scares me to the core. I also think it’s the coolest thing I have heard all month. I know that a lot of people hear this kind of story and say “big deal, she is changing her career”, but to me this is huge because it takes some pretty big balls to jump without a net and just go for something unfamiliar and uncomfortable. This is pure bravery. I live to hear this kind of story because it encourages me to take those leaps of faith and to get out of my comfort zone too. It tells me I am not crazy when I jump, I am brave. I need that because I still have that voice in the corner of my mind that tells me not to jump, and sometimes that voice disguises itself as reason when it is in fact only fear. (more…)

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This Day Has Been a Long Week

I will take any bad week that ends like this!

I will take any bad week that ends like this!

Do you ever feel like you are failing miserably at everything you do? Those days suck. Especially when you have five or six of them in a row. A co-worker of mine walked into my office last week and said “this day has been a long week.” She didn’t realize what she had said until the words had escaped her lips, but she couldn’t have been more right in the sentiment. It is those days when everything you touch either explodes or crumbles and there isn’t a thing you can do about it but move on to the next thing.

I sent my daughter to school on Monday wearing Rainbow Dash emblazoned tennis shoes instead of her navy blue mary-jane uniform shoes. I spent the rest of that day thinking her missing uniform shoes had been at my parents’ house where she had last taken them off only to find them at home that night about a foot away from where they normally are stored. I have a lot of these little mom fails. All moms do. It’s not a big deal. I spent most of that morning worrying that my Mom was going to be hard on herself because I knew she would take the blame for the shoes even though it wasn’t her fault. I was actually a little relieved when the shoes were located at our house. Although the vague recollection of putting the shoes exactly where they were found didn’t help me feel much better that night. Tomorrow was a new day, right? (more…)

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This Welcoming Committee Sucks!

It's all fun and games until somebody gets a ball in the face!

It’s all fun and games until somebody gets a ball in the face!

This afternoon I was at a picnic at my daughter’s school. There is a new girl in the kindergarten class whom I had met earlier in the week and my daughter of course dragged her right over to sit down with us with her parents in tow. We all had plates of food but did not see where there were any beverages. The catering company had not brought any beverages and it appeared that nobody at the school had yet been informed of this dilemma. Knowing that I was seated with the most impatient, and probably most dehydrated little girl ever to walk the earth I thought it would be best to run right into the field house with some cash. I headed straight for the one and only vending machine in the building and pumped it full of dollar bills while pressing “56” until I had what I thought to be enough bottles of water. I reached down to gather my loot but the door would not budge. I peered into the machine, and there I saw it, a lone bottle of water lodged upright among all of the bottles of water. There it stood, like a big middle finger asking “are you thirsty?” (more…)

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