Someone has to be in charge…

Communist coloring

Coloring with my daughter is a little like coloring in a North Korean prison. She doles out the markers you are to use and marks your pages indicating where each color belongs. She hands me one marker at a time, only after she has tested the color to see if she likes it, saying “we can share”. Little Kim Jung Il comes over to check on my progress periodically and shakes her head at my inability to stay in the lines. She is clearly disappointed in my artistic abilities. This is nothing new. She once got very upset with me because I didn’t draw Velma’s arms correctly when I tried to help her finish a drawing. (more…)

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Ask and You Shall Receive

An interesting thing happens when you put your thoughts into the Universe – it responds. If you want something, you need to ask for it. It seems simple, but I think a lot of us have a hard time doing this. I spent a large portion of my childhood learning to be self-sufficient. I was a proud child, declaring “I do it mine feltch!” I never let go of this. I have always tried to do things for myself. I don’t need help. My motto could be “I got this.” I once drove around for an hour lost because I refused to stop and ask for directions. God forbid a stranger in a gas station think I don’t know my way around a place I have never been! (more…)

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Gratitude

The day after Thanksgiving 2003

The day after Thanksgiving 2003

Sometimes I am so full of gratitude that it leaks out of my eyes. And what better day to be grateful than on Thanksgiving. I was standing in my kitchen washing green beans thinking about the people I have met in my life and how grateful I am for all of them, good and bad, the lessons I have learned from all of these interactions no matter how big or small that have shaped me into who I am right now. Thirteen years ago on the day after Thanksgiving I sat eating a pumpkin pie in bed with this guy. I didn’t know then that his life and my life would become our life. And today there is one more in bed to share the pie and hog the whipped cream. Life is really good.

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Down with the Sickness

Riley Hulk Roid RageMy five year old has roid rage. She was prescribed Prednisolone for a cough last week. The cough is still around but now it’s a little deeper and comes with a punch. Within a few minutes of taking her medicine she is ready to swing at anyone who walks by. It would be easier if she were not taking it right before bed but I am a little apprehensive about sending her out into the world all juiced up. I don’t want her getting sent home from school because she put one of her classmates in a choke hold. After going to school a month ago with a black eye, they might think we are operating a mini fight club in our basement. So she takes her medicine at night and in the time it takes me to rinse out the cup she has changed from my sweet little girl into Lou Ferrigno. I can only see the whites of her eyes as she growls “I don’t need pajamas!” (more…)

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Unlikely Heroes

Travis Barker photo by Adam Elmakias

Travis Barker photo by Adam Elmakias

I picked up Travis Barker’s book Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, and Drums, Drums, Drums in hopes that I might become a good drummer through osmosis. I am sick of being the dead weight in our family band. I should have known better. Travis says that to become a good drummer I need to practice, practice, practice. Oh Travis, we had a really good thing going. I was right there with you when you talked about being passionate about playing and having heart, but the whole work hard thing is just too much for a slacker like me. I am retiring the dream of forming my own punk band and going on tour, but I am going to start practicing more so I don’t let my current bandmates down. I do have some integrity. I do not have high hopes that this whole band thing is going to go well. In fact, I’m fairly certain I am going to fall on my face, but that’s okay, I am having fun. Now I just need someone to explain to my daughter that Mommy isn’t ruining her band on purpose, I’m just not the same caliber of musician as the other two band members. (more…)

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