The Girls Get Around

Hanging with the girls…

Being an only child, you need to improvise when you want to have a girls day watching movies, or a dance party. My daughter creates her parties using a couple of three foot tall Disney princesses. Although they normally reside in her playroom, they make an appearance in other rooms of the house while she is playing. Inevitably, they spend a night sitting on the couch in the family room. On these nights, my prankster husband finds it funny to set the girls up in strange places when he leaves for work in the morning. I awake to find Belle next to my bed or Anna peeking out from behind the bathroom door. He takes great pride in freaking me out first thing in the morning. (more…)

Attention Target Shoppers…

Attention Target shoppers – there’s a creepy guy near the children’s swimwear…

My husband and I have had fun filming. So much fun that we filmed an intro video. We wanted to incorporate all of the things that I do on a regular basis, so of course we had to film me shopping at Target. It is my second home after all. Seriously, when I got in my car after leaving the gym on Saturday, my GPS told me how long it would take to get to Target rather than my house! Filming at Target was kind of fun. My husband was a bit like a nature documentarian, following this big cat in her natural habitat. The only bummer was that he made me put back everything I had put in the cart. Apparently they were just props! What’s up with that? I don’t think I have ever walked out of Target without my arms weighed down with bags. I don’t work out my arms at the gym, these guns are strictly from lugging around shopping bags. (more…)

Say My Name

They must have been all worn out from coming up with clever nicknames!

My Dad is a master of the nickname. He has one for everyone. Well, everyone he likes. You know you have made it to his good side once you have received a new name from him. It’s like a right of passage. I think it took my husband a few years of marriage before he was dubbed “John-boy”. The guy I dated prior to that never got a nickname even though he was around for ten years. My Dad called him “Dick” a lot, but so did everyone who knew him so I don’t think that counts. I have not heard my given name from my Dad’s mouth since I was seven. Not even when I was in trouble. (more…)

The Swan

Tiny Dancer

Last year my daughter took her first dance class. It was a tap and ballet class after school for an hour one day a week. Most of the girls in her grade were in the class so it was an easy sell at first. Then she realized it involved work. My daughter is a little like me, she does not like to overexert herself or sweat. She took a soccer conditioning class a few years ago that had her ready to file a child endangerment claim against me. She literally sat down in the middle of the field several times because she was too hot from running around for two minutes. She raised her hand every time the coach asked if someone wanted to sit out for a stretch. She even raised her hand a few times while she was already sitting out! I suspect her time in dance class was similar. (more…)

Parking Wars

Even the 6 year old could park better!

You know how when you have a new car it is a magnet for every bad driver on the road and in parking lots? My car is three years old and still attracts every bad driver within five miles. There can be thirty open parking places in the Target parking lot and some boob will park so close to my door that I have to crawl in through the passenger door. This inevitably happens when I am wearing my tightest pencil skirt and 5″ heels. Sometimes there is even a gaggle of construction workers nearby to witness my graceful decent into the driver’s seat. Seeing me perform this move, one would never believe that I was, in fact, a gymnast. (more…)

Six Going on Sixteen

My daughter came home yesterday and informed me that she is going to need braces. She deduced this after looking at one of her only two adult teeth. It isn’t even all the way in yet! She had been worried about it all day. She told her Dad how she had a conversation with a friend at school about her need for braces.  I told her it was probably coming in crooked because she always has her hands in her mouth. She looked at me and said “you put your hands in your mouth a lot when you were little huh?” Well played mini-me!

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