I am turning into my mother. For better or worse! Happy Mother’s Day to all the great moms out there!
We started filming today. This has only been a few weeks in the making but it feels like the equipment has been sitting in the living room for years. I don’t know if it’s because this idea has been percolating in my head for awhile or if it’s because my husband has been walking in and checking the lighting every ten minutes since it was set up. Who knew it took two cameras, two microphones and three lights to properly capture my essence. I would have had a few minions following me around with the proper lighting years ago if I had known this. (more…)
You know how when you have a new car it is a magnet for every bad driver on the road and in parking lots? My car is three years old and still attracts every bad driver within five miles. There can be thirty open parking places in the Target parking lot and some boob will park so close to my door that I have to crawl in through the passenger door. This inevitably happens when I am wearing my tightest pencil skirt and 5″ heels. Sometimes there is even a gaggle of construction workers nearby to witness my graceful decent into the driver’s seat. Seeing me perform this move, one would never believe that I was, in fact, a gymnast. (more…)
I am bad with names. When I am telling a story to my husband I usually have to go into great detail to explain the characters involved instead of just saying “Bob.” This makes my stories exceptionally long. Well, that and the fact that I have a hard time getting from point A to point B without hitting Z, Y and X while veering off track through the other “points” to the story. Yesterday I was attempting to tell my husband that I found out a talent that a Mom of one of my daughter’s classmates has. As per usual, I started at point A and started working my way to point B. Somewhere about mid-alphabet I said “You know, the Dad that looks like he could be an underwear model…” (more…)
I don’t know how my husband puts up with me, I really don’t. I was having a conversation with my daughter this morning about how many bows in her hair were too many and I realized that nobody can really take me seriously since I speak fluently in sarcasm. When I say something looks great, I am usually being sarcastic. When I say someone is smart, I am usually being sarcastic. And when I say I totally agree that I am being a giant A-hole, I am most definitely being sarcastic. That is because I don’t see my sarcasm as anything but really funny. Well, it’s funny to me at least. (more…)
My daughter came home yesterday and informed me that she is going to need braces. She deduced this after looking at one of her only two adult teeth. It isn’t even all the way in yet! She had been worried about it all day. She told her Dad how she had a conversation with a friend at school about her need for braces. I told her it was probably coming in crooked because she always has her hands in her mouth. She looked at me and said “you put your hands in your mouth a lot when you were little huh?” Well played mini-me!