Who’s the Miserable Shrew?

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Who's the Miserable Shrew?
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Excerpt:

I have a love/hate relationship with Costco. I love the people watching and I hate the worst of humanity that I see while people watching. Yesterday was a prime example of the worst of humanity. We were approaching the center aisle and coming directly at us was a mother and her two children. The boy who looked about 8 years old was busy trying not to walk into a display of Mikasa flatware while playing with a rubik’s cube. His sister who looked about 2 years older was having a conversation with the mother while skipping beside the cart. I caught the tail end of the conversation which went something like this:

Daughter: “…well you compare us to other kids all the time.”

They Call it Medicine for a Reason

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They Call it Medicine for a Reason
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Excerpt:

I attempted to make homemade chicken noodle soup the other night. It’s been quite some time since I have actually cooked anything. I am not a great cook. I am a master of salads but heated food it a challenge for me. I have set two stoves on fire in my life. Yes, two stoves. My husband and I used to cook together a lot and when I got pregnant he took over the cooking duties, banishing me from the kitchen. I have not made a meal that requires any form of heat since then. Our daughter will be six in a few weeks, so that is almost seven years I have avoided a stove!

What’s My Age Again

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What's My Age Again
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Excerpt:

I was the guest reader for my daughter’s class yesterday. I love going to read to the kids, and the little bodies seem to like me. I think it’s because I am like a very large child in high heels. I say what is on my mind and I am awkward when in close proximity to others in silence. These are two characteristics most people seem to outgrow, but I never did. Put me in an elevator with another person and I develop a mild case of Tourette’s syndrome. This is one of the reasons I use the stairs whenever possible.

Betty Crocker

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Betty Crocker
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Excerpt:

I love cake. I also love to bake, but my execution kind of sucks. I always have an idea in my head of how something is going to turn out and it rarely turns out that way. It’s okay, I have fun baking and now my daughter and I bake together so it’s twice as much fun. I normally buy a cake for our big events. I am blessed to know an amazing baker. She was a neighbor for a short period of time and she has a daughter who is a month older than my daughter so we got them together for a play date when they lived in the neighborhood. We have been friends since then.

Composing a Ransom Note to the Tooth Fairy

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Composing a Ransom Note to the Tooth Fairy
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Excerpt:

My daughter was home from school with an ear infection on friday. After a trip to the doctor we were sent to the pharmacy to pick up an antibiotic. I was trying to insert my credit card into the chip reader while contemplating how she had made it through close to six years without ever having to ingest an antibiotic and now having two within six months. A high pitched voice chirped “I LOST MY TOOTH!!!” My daughter had finally shed her first baby tooth, the one that has been wiggling around for ten days, refusing to pop out.

Cutting the Cord

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Cutting the Cord
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Excerpt:

My daughter has been very clingy lately. I don’t know if it’s the age, or the time of year, but she has been like a fabric softener sheet stuck to my leg. Most of the other Kindergarten parents have started to drop their kids off and let them walk into school by themselves. Not me, I am still making that walk every morning down to my kid’s locker, trailing a few feet behind when I can, trying to become part of the background. She carries her lunch box and backpack as she leads me through the halls, around the corners, all the way to her locker.

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