One year ago today I started publishing this blog. I had no idea where it would take me, but something inside of me made me sit down and write. I said I was going to let the kid inside of me out to play a little more. She has certainly come out to play and probably won’t be going home for dinner anytime soon. This last year has been a lot like a free fall. I have taken a lot of chances, made a lot of mistakes, cried a lot, argued with my husband and parents, stood my ground with my daughter, acted like a brat, felt really lost, beat my head against a wall on at least five occasions and got myself fired from my job. I have also laughed a lot, hugged my daughter and parents more freely, spoken truths to my husband that I never thought I would and found more peace than I have had in my entire life. I have become a better friend, daughter and mother. I am still working on being a better wife, but I strive for progress, not perfection. I have even kind of learned to play the drums.
I am writing tonight because I had the smallest mustard seed of hope that I could do something different than what I was doing. I am not a stranger to leaps of faith. I have taken a lot of them in my life. Most have been out of stupidity or desperation, some out of curiosity or a need for change, but most were impetuous leaps. This was a leap that I had longed to take for years but it was just too great for me. I walked to the ledge repeatedly, peeked over the top and retreated. This was the leap that either taught me to fly or I crashed and burned. So here I am – a bird. My wings may be a little singed, but I am actually flying.
I want to thank you, my friends, for reading my stories. I hope that I have made you laugh a little, think a little or discover something new in the last year. The words of encouragement I get from my tribe are what make me want to jump out of bed in the morning. I also want to thank my partner in this journey for doing all of the heavy lifting and not complaining (much). I would not be the person I am without John. I also would not be the woman I am today without my parents and my daughter, and I certainly wouldn’t have as many good stories to share. So, many thanks to them as well. I am flying today with many hands helping to lift me along the way. I am forever grateful to have taken this leap.