I got into my car the other day to find that what was once my favorite station on SiriusXM radio had changed. I listened to Faction pretty religiously because they played punk rock. For a few weeks it changed to a Guns N Roses takeover which wasn’t all that terrible because there was still some decent music and that band always makes me think of my husband. But when I backed out of my driveway the other day the new format was in full effect. What I heard was the DJ talking about how he likes hanging around bars when the women come out drunk wearing one shoe because it is like “shooting fish in a barrel.” My favorite punk rock station is now on some channel I can only get at home, but I can tune in to the date rape station anytime with my six year old daughter in the car. Awesome!
Yesterday was my thirteenth wedding anniversary. I married a man who would never talk about women like the DJ on my radio the other day. That is because he doesn’t define himself by how much he has, but by who he is. The exterior is not nearly as important as the interior to him. He is a man who doesn’t view women and children as less valuable because they are not as physically strong. He doesn’t need to conquer and claim victory, beat his chest and roar. I am thankful for this every day. He has taught me a lot about what winning really is, and it has nothing to do with being first or getting more.
There is so much more strength in being vulnerable and staying humble than there is in parading around with peacock feathers outstretched, stomping feet. Real richness comes from doing what you love with who you love, being present, and making the most out of your time on the planet by connecting with other people and sharing your gifts, whatever they may be. I can guarantee that if you asked me what my life would be like today thirteen years ago I wouldn’t have said sitting in my pajamas writing while my husband went to his nine to five job, but today that is where we are. It is because he is strong enough to hold me up and help me do whatever it is I need to do to be whole. That is what a partner does.
And if you haven’t seen this…Pink MTV speech