Now I know why people say “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” It’s because they can’t wash their eyeballs. As I was strolling down the hall this morning to get my cold brew iced coffee I ran into what appeared to be two large pimps pulling a hooker out of a hotel room. As I was walking by they were talking very rapidly in Spanish and one was trying to hush the other. I got the impression they were saying something like “Don’t worry, the little blonde white lady has no idea what we are talking about right now…” Now I really wish I had paid better attention in my high school Spanish class. The woman was clearly drunk or high and laughing as she bid farewell to the room guest as they escorted her out. I have never wanted to get on an elevator so quickly in my life. And now I want to shower. Oh Vegas, you do not disappoint. I have never been so grateful to be a boring midwesterner.

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