Growth

My husband had a nightmare the other night that I divorced him. In this nightmare I said that he had not changed enough and I was out. He called it a dream rather than a nightmare, but I’m not going to read too much into that. The funniest part about this to me is that he has some deep down fear that I want him to change when he is pretty close to perfect exactly as he is. 2016 was a year of change for me. I took some pretty big leaps of faith. These were changes I needed to make to grow as a person and be my authentic self. I had been smothering a big part of who I am for a long time by not writing and expressing myself like I used to. I needed to remember that the little rebellious punk rock kid was still in me, she just drives a Mercedes now. I needed to remember that I can be a nerdy accountant who has a creative side and likes to play games like a big kid. I don’t have to be one or the other, there is room for both. Because that is who I am.

2016 was also a year of acceptance. I learned to be a little easier on myself. I am going to trip and fall a lot and that’s okay. Nobody is perfect. Life is messy and beautiful and not everything needs to be in it’s proper place all the time.

2016 was also the year I started to cry. Not out of sadness, but gratitude for all of the beauty that I have in my life. I have a wonderful family and friends who know me and love me just as I am and that is a wonderful thing.

I welcome 2017 because I know that there is so much yet to come. I would love to write more about it now but as I type I can hear my family band missing their drummer, so it is time for me to jam. Bring it on 2017, I am ready!

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