Welcome to No, Seriously... I'm Jen Logan. These are my adventures, experiences and opinions. If you are new to the site and can't decide if you want to send me gifts because you think I am so awesome, or send my husband an escape plan because you feel so bad for him - I recommend a few stories to get to know me.

I listen to great music! I also remember pretty much every life event I have had by what music was streaming in my head at the time.

I screw things up a lot! I'm okay with this. The more you screw things up, the less people ask you to do. The things I am good at, I'm pretty damn good at.

My husband is a saint! He truly is. He has stuck it out with me for almost thirteen years now.

Being a parent is the greatest gift in the World! It is also the messiest and scariest gift I have ever received.

I Need a New Coat

I Need a New Coat

My daughter is already embarrassed to be seen with me and she is only six. I can't blame her though. I ran out of the house wearing leggings and a tunic with a pair of ballet flats. I was very casual and when I got to the closet to grab a coat I realized that all of my spring jackets are much more business-like. I grabbed a mustard yellow wool coat that was casual and warm. It wasn't until I got in the car that I realized I was wearing a grey shirt and my shoes were black and beige. Literally nothing on my body matched. As I was driving to school I was thinking about one of my daughter's teachers. She has a son...

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The Jerk Family

The Jerk Family

Social media is really making people crazy. My husband received this message yesterday from a guy who lives in our neighborhood. We had taken a walk up to the elementary school near our house since it was such a nice day. We played, slid, swung and ran for an hour and walked back home. Several hours later, after returning from the store, my husband showed me his phone. I was really confused because I didn't remember seeing this guy's family at the school. I didn't remember seeing them at Target either. This is the problem with being oblivious to what is going on around you - people think you are a stuck up...

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Pianist

Pianist

Driving with my daughter in the backseat this morning, listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack, she asked “Who is this?” I answered “Alan Menken”. After telling me how wonderful he is she asked about the instruments and if the band all played together or if they recorded like Daddy, one instrument at a time. She said “the piano player is really good” and I replied “a piano player is called a pianist”.  It wasn’t until I finished the sentence that I realized what I had just done. I think we can all agree that I do not do my best thinking in the morning. At least my Mom will be thoroughly amused since I know...

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Betty Crocker

Betty Crocker

I love cake. I also love to bake, but my execution kind of sucks. I always have an idea in my head of how something is going to turn out and it rarely turns out that way. It's okay, I have fun baking and now my daughter and I bake together so it's twice as much fun. I normally buy a cake for our big events. I am blessed to know an amazing baker. She was a neighbor for a short period of time and she has a daughter who is a month older than my daughter so we got them together for a play date when they lived in the neighborhood. We have been friends since then. Life happened which took my baking angel away for a...

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Only Child Syndrome

Only Child Syndrome

I am an only child. It was great growing up and always being the best one at whatever I did because there was nobody there to measure up against. But then I got married and all of a sudden there was someone else in "my" family to compare myself to. It sucks to be married to a guy who can do everything. I taught myself how to cook and I was decent at it, but then he started cooking so I gave it up. I was a photographer in high school and did a fairly decent job as family photographer until he came along and he is actually a gifted photographer, so I gave that up. He is a better parent, a better provider, a...

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“Not Really Gone” by Blaire Sharpe Book Review

“Not Really Gone” by Blaire Sharpe Book Review

"Not Really Gone" by Blaire Sharpe is about a woman growing up in a family with a  lot of dysfunction and how the matriarch (Grandma) held her family together the best she could. It is the story of a girl growing up with absent and neglectful parents, but also a grandmother who stepped in and became a parent to the three children left behind by parents who couldn't manage to take care of themselves. It is the story of how a young woman was shaped not so much by the events in her life but how the love she felt from her grandmother stayed with her through all of those events. It is the story of how a grown woman...

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She’s Crafty

She’s Crafty

When I was pregnant with my daughter I remember talking with my husband about what she would look like. It was almost like setting our pictures side by side and picking who had the better physical feature. I won nose, eyebrows and bottom lip. He won the rest. My husband is much better looking than I am. I am totally okay with this. Some of the traits we hoped for were more practical, like we both hoped she had my husband's teeth, straight, white and no cavities. These qualities all cost less and save a lot of pain for all of us. We also hoped that she did not end up with my bow legs and knobby knees. We talked...

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What’s My Age Again?

What’s My Age Again?

I was the guest reader for my daughter's class yesterday. I love going to read to the kids, and the little bodies seem to like me. I think it's because I am like a very large child in high heels. I say what is on my mind and I am awkward when in close proximity to others in silence. These are two characteristics most people seem to outgrow, but I never did. Put me in an elevator with another person and I develop a mild case of Tourette's syndrome. This is one of the reasons I use the stairs whenever possible. If I am in a small space with another person alone for too long they are probably going to hear about...

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They Call it Medicine for a Reason

They Call it Medicine for a Reason

Save I attempted to make homemade chicken noodle soup the other night. It's been quite some time since I have actually cooked anything. I am not a great cook. I am a master of salads but heated food it a challenge for me. I have set two stoves on fire in my life. Yes, two stoves. My husband and I used to cook together a lot and when I got pregnant he took over the cooking duties, banishing me from the kitchen. I have not made a meal that requires any form of heat since then. Our daughter will be six in a few weeks, so that is almost seven years I have avoided a stove!  I secretly think it took him that long to...

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Composing a Ransom Note to the Tooth Fairy

Composing a Ransom Note to the Tooth Fairy

My daughter was home from school with an ear infection on friday. After a trip to the doctor we were sent to the pharmacy to pick up an antibiotic. I was trying to insert my credit card into the chip reader while contemplating how she had made it through close to six years without ever having to ingest an antibiotic and now having two within six months. A high pitched voice chirped "I LOST MY TOOTH!!!" My daughter had finally shed her first baby tooth, the one that has been wiggling around for ten days, refusing to pop out. The cashier quickly got me a baggie for the tooth while I finished paying for our drugs....

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