Welcome to No, Seriously... I'm Jen Logan. These are my adventures, experiences and opinions. If you are new to the site and can't decide if you want to send me gifts because you think I am so awesome, or send my husband an escape plan because you feel so bad for him - I recommend a few stories to get to know me.

I listen to great music! I also remember pretty much every life event I have had by what music was streaming in my head at the time.

I screw things up a lot! I'm okay with this. The more you screw things up, the less people ask you to do. The things I am good at, I'm pretty damn good at.

My husband is a saint! He truly is. He has stuck it out with me for almost thirteen years now.

Being a parent is the greatest gift in the World! It is also the messiest and scariest gift I have ever received.

Am I Demon

Am I Demon

I don't know why I always identify with the villain, but since I was a kid I have always felt a certain camaraderie with the "bad guy". I have always been drawn to people who are clever and ingenious. I like someone who is quick witted and a little cynical and if he can con Kanye West into shutting his egomaniac piehole for 30 seconds, even better. That kind of magic is like watching the Sistine Chapel being painted. Unfortunately, this kind of artistry is rarely used for good. It's always the villains who possess these qualities in books and movies. When I was a small child I was never a big fan of fairy...

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Cherry Bomb

Cherry Bomb

People who know me know that I tend to be pretty direct. I don't beat around the bush. This is either a gift or a curse, depending on how you look at it. I like to think of it as a gift. This is probably because I don't really care much about what people think of me. I have what you would call a healthy ego. If I was worried about pissing people off and them disliking me, it would certainly be a curse. It's not that I want to hurt people's feelings, I am just pretty comfortable with the truth, even when it sucks. I would rather hear the truth, even if it stings a little. I would also rather give the truth than...

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Every Breath You Take

Every Breath You Take

My child is stalking a guy on my meditation app. At the end of the meditation a screen appears with a congratulations and a list of people who were using the app at the same time. When the meditation ends, my daughter immediately picks up the phone to look at all of the pictures of the people who were meditating with us. Every night there is someone named Chris who uses a picture that she likes in the list. And every night she tries to click the button to send a "thanks for meditating with me" message. She literally scrolls through pages of little pictures until she finds Chris every single night. I have tried...

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Bleach

Bleach

As I lie in bed last night reading my book I could smell bleach as if there was a bowl of it sitting next to me. I thought maybe it was coming from the bathroom where I had cleaned earlier in the night so I walked in to take a sniff, however, there was no bleach smell at all. Apparently I didn't clean that well if the smell had already dissipated. I went back to bed and picked up my book again only to find the bleach smell invade my nostrils once more. I quickly took a whiff of my hand and found that the smell was indeed emanating from me. This is typical. I probably got more bleach on myself than I did on the...

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Adventure Time

Adventure Time

What do you do when an adventure is in front of you? Do you take it or do you look for every reason to say "I can't"? I come from an adventurous family. We traveled a lot when I was growing up and it was always an adventure. My Dad was the kind of guy who would jump in a car, or better yet on a motorcycle, and just go. And I was right there with him ready for the next big adventure. Most people get less adventurous as they get older. They see enough of life to be scared of what they may be saying yes to and the closer they get to death, the more cautious they become. Not me! I am as carefree and impetuous as...

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That’s What She Said

That’s What She Said

My six year old just handed me her cup that she had filled almost to the top with sparkling fruit water and said "here Mom, have a drink." I knew this was because she had overfilled her cup so I asked her if she needed me to drink some so she could carry it into the other room. Her response was "Well, yeah... you have big jugs!!" Sometimes it takes me a minute to decipher what this kid is trying to say. She is funny and sarcastic but sometimes her vernacular is a little off. My mind was shuffling through all of the phrases that sounded remotely like the words just uttered and finally came to "you take big...

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Do You Even Lift Bro?

Do You Even Lift Bro?

I have a love/hate relationship with the gym. It's not for the obvious reasons though. Most people don't like the actual work that is done at the gym but they love the results. I love working out, I just hate that it has to be with other people. The gym I go to is pretty crowded right now with all the people who decided that they were going to get in shape in 2018. They are the same people who made this vow at 12:01 on the first day of 2017. And just like last year, they will be gone by the end of February. But for now, they are mucking up the works. I have encountered more broken machines at the gym in the...

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Negative Creep

Negative Creep

Have you ever been around someone who is so negative that they literally suffocate any room they are in with their heavy attitude? You can just feel the bad vibes radiating from them and all of a sudden you can't breathe. They tiptoe up with their giant pillow to smother any little rays of sunshine around them. Usually they are totally unaware that they are smothering you or anyone else with their negativity. Half the time they don't even realize that they are, in fact, Eeyore. They think that worrying that their glass is not half full means they are a "glass half full kind of person." They are the person who...

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Pretty Vacant

Pretty Vacant

In our house we meditate. We practice both individually and together. If you have met me, I know this is probably hard to believe - but can you imagine what a spaz I would be without meditation? At night before my daughter goes to bed we all meditate together in her bed. We take turns choosing the guided meditation nightly. Whenever it is my daughter's turn she chooses this really bizarre guided journey about a child with an angel friend that looks like a rainbow. It starts out okay enough, even if the main character is named Sarah and "could be a little girl or a little boy". I'm thinking maybe if the main...

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Password Protected

Password Protected

Like all good parents we have password protected our devices, including my daughter's Kindle, to prevent her from online shopping and/or purchasing apps or games by herself. You wouldn't think a six year old is able to online shop, but she sees a lot of it going on in our house as well as her grandparents' house. Quality grandma/granddaughter time consists of searching different legos or barbies and scrolling through pages and pages of product photos. Mini-me can even find where the toy is sold for the best price. I don't give my Mom a hard time about this because I know that intelligent shopping is in fact a...

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Debut Book from Jen Logan - Coming Soon

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