Welcome to No, Seriously... I'm Jen Logan. These are my adventures, experiences and opinions. If you are new to the site and can't decide if you want to send me gifts because you think I am so awesome, or send my husband an escape plan because you feel so bad for him - I recommend a few stories to get to know me.

I listen to great music! I also remember pretty much every life event I have had by what music was streaming in my head at the time.

I screw things up a lot! I'm okay with this. The more you screw things up, the less people ask you to do. The things I am good at, I'm pretty damn good at.

My husband is a saint! He truly is. He has stuck it out with me for almost thirteen years now.

Being a parent is the greatest gift in the World! It is also the messiest and scariest gift I have ever received.

Karma

Karma

A few weeks ago we were at the child care center in our gym. My daughter heard a baby crying and like a parrot started mimicking the cry. I told her that it was not very nice to make fun of someone for crying. I don't think she even realized it was being mean. I asked her how she would feel if someone made fun of her for crying. She stopped parroting and said "poor, sad baby". Last Monday my daughter went to school sad after sending her Grandma Deb back up north after a weekend visit. Riley was sad about her leaving and she cried at school that morning. A classmate of hers made fun of her for crying. When she...

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The Starter House

The Starter House

Five years ago I became a landlord. My husband and I did this out of necessity when we bought a home for three when we still owned our home for two. I had never been a landlord before but I thought that after having been a renter during my college years and a small portion of my adulthood I knew what it entailed. What I failed to understand at that time is that not all tenants are the same. Our first tenants seemed pretty good on paper. It was a mother and her two daughters along with her fiance. They were only there for about nine months when they asked if they could erect a six foot privacy fence. I found...

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Never too Old

Never too Old

I spent the day dressed up as Rainbow Dash with a car decorated for Trunk or Treat at my daughter's school. It was what she wanted, and honestly both her Dad and I were a little relieved after having done a Kiss theme last year that received mixed reactions. The parents who knew us already knew no matter what we did we would be all in. So we were ponies and we rocked it. But Rainbow Dash can only sparkle for so long before she needs to throw on a pair of boots and dance to a little punk rock. Luckily my husband and I had concert tickets last night as well. I love going to concerts. I love music and I love...

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Hallway Lessons

Hallway Lessons

Sometimes lessons come immediately and sometimes they come slowly. My daughter was jumping on the bed the other night as she does many nights. It's part of her evening performance of "I don't want to go to bed, and you can't make me!" She missed the dismount in her grand finale of throwing herself down onto her pillow and torpetoed herself face first into her headboard. Her immediate response was to jump into my arms and say "You told me to stop jumping, you were right!" I wanted to savor the moment of hearing those three words I may never hear again from her mouth, but knew she needed ice, and fast. The...

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If the Shoe Fits

If the Shoe Fits

We went to see Disney on Ice last weekend, and my child got so caught up in the magic that she became a real princess. As we were walking up the steps from our seats she turned around with a look of panic and said "My shoe, oh no my shoe!" I looked down and sure enough, her shoe had slipped off through the back of the stairs and fell underneath the stands. Quickly, her butler (who also answers to Grandpa) went to check with the guards to see if there was a way to retrieve the slipper. Cinderella sat on the steps crying while all of the other princesses climbed over her having heard the clock strike midnight...

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Goodnight Sweet Child

Goodnight Sweet Child

Getting out of my daughter's room when putting her to bed at night requires special forces training. She can sense the end of the book coming and she turns into a spider monkey clinging to anything she can get her little claws around. The moment that last page is turned she goes pro wrestler, climbing on top of me and holding on to my shoulders and head. I start my escape using moves a contortionist would be proud of. It's like working my way out of a straight jacket. Once I have successfully peeled her off my head and back it's time to stuff her under the covers. I mean this quite literally. As her limbs come...

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Bravery

Bravery

My sixty-two year old neighbor is training to be a flight attendant. She has worked with kids for most of her adult life so she is already capable of taking care of a bunch of temper tantrums at once but everything else about the job is totally out of her comfort zone. Can you imagine taking that kind of leap of faith into the unknown? I can and it scares me to the core. I also think it's the coolest thing I have heard all month. I know that a lot of people hear this kind of story and say "big deal, she is changing her career", but to me this is huge because it takes some pretty big balls to jump without a net...

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This Day Has Been a Long Week

This Day Has Been a Long Week

Do you ever feel like you are failing miserably at everything you do? Those days suck. Especially when you have five or six of them in a row. A co-worker of mine walked into my office last week and said "this day has been a long week." She didn't realize what she had said until the words had escaped her lips, but she couldn't have been more right in the sentiment. It is those days when everything you touch either explodes or crumbles and there isn't a thing you can do about it but move on to the next thing. I sent my daughter to school on Monday wearing Rainbow Dash emblazoned tennis shoes instead of her navy...

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This Welcoming Committee Sucks!

This Welcoming Committee Sucks!

This afternoon I was at a picnic at my daughter's school. There is a new girl in the kindergarten class whom I had met earlier in the week and my daughter of course dragged her right over to sit down with us with her parents in tow. We all had plates of food but did not see where there were any beverages. The catering company had not brought any beverages and it appeared that nobody at the school had yet been informed of this dilemma. Knowing that I was seated with the most impatient, and probably most dehydrated little girl ever to walk the earth I thought it would be best to run right into the field house...

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Sugar Junkie

Sugar Junkie

My husband is a sugar junkie through and through. Last night at the gym he decided it was a good idea make a stop at Whole Foods on the way home for some cookies from the bakery. When it was determined that neither of us had a wallet, he devised a plan whereby he would use his gym card to buy all kinds of wholesome goodies and take them to Whole Foods where he would find someone using a Bridge Card to pay for their purchases and trade them the previously purchased goodies for a ton of cookies. I pointed out that only a true junkie would find a way to get his sugar and make sure it was paid for by the...

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