I Like Food

I Like Food

I very rarely eat fast food. Questionable animal parts in a grease soaked bag is not my idea of tasty. I have an occasional breakfast from a cheap eats establishment before an early morning flight, or pick up a burger and frosty for my daughter after she badgers me for three weeks and I can use it to bribe her into doing a chore without complaining, but those events are few and far between. I can count on my hands the number of times I have ordered food through a little speaker and was able to pay for a meal for three with a twenty dollar bill. I didn't always have an aversion to fast food. As a matter of fact,...

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Am I Demon

Am I Demon

I don't know why I always identify with the villain, but since I was a kid I have always felt a certain camaraderie with the "bad guy". I have always been drawn to people who are clever and ingenious. I like someone who is quick witted and a little cynical and if he can con Kanye West into shutting his egomaniac piehole for 30 seconds, even better. That kind of magic is like watching the Sistine Chapel being painted. Unfortunately, this kind of artistry is rarely used for good. It's always the villains who possess these qualities in books and movies. When I was a small child I was never a big fan of fairy...

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Trouble-Maker

Trouble-Maker

I was talking to a girlfriend today who is making a bad choice but doesn't really care. She is dating a guy who she knows is bad for her but she can't seem to stay away from him. My response to her was "Well, I know ice cream is bad for me, but sometimes I just really need to eat some ice cream." My friends seem to talk to me when they want the okay to do something bad. I am always the one that will support their decision to live a little dangerously. Sleep with the bad boy? Go for it! Quit your stable job to do something you love that pays dirt? You only live once! Let the kids stay with their grandparents to...

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That Gym Scent

That Gym Scent

My gym is pretty eclectic. I can start a work-out on an elliptical machine next to a twenty five year old body builder and end it next to an eighty year old heart patient. One thing they all have in common is an aroma that I don't want to inhale twice. I get it, you work out, you sweat. I'm pretty sure I don't smell like a big bunch of roses after my workout. So last week when a middle aged man jumped on the machine next to me and I caught a big whiff of wonderful, I almost flew right over my handlebars. It was as if he had just walked out of a dryer, all fresh and full of fabric softener. It wasn't a scent I...

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The Girls Get Around

The Girls Get Around

Being an only child, you need to improvise when you want to have a girls day watching movies, or a dance party. My daughter creates her parties using a couple of three foot tall Disney princesses. Although they normally reside in her playroom, they make an appearance in other rooms of the house while she is playing. Inevitably, they spend a night sitting on the couch in the family room. On these nights, my prankster husband finds it funny to set the girls up in strange places when he leaves for work in the morning. I awake to find Belle next to my bed or Anna peeking out from behind the bathroom door. He takes...

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Attention Target Shoppers…

Attention Target Shoppers…

My husband and I have had fun filming. So much fun that we filmed an intro video. We wanted to incorporate all of the things that I do on a regular basis, so of course we had to film me shopping at Target. It is my second home after all. Seriously, when I got in my car after leaving the gym on Saturday, my GPS told me how long it would take to get to Target rather than my house! Filming at Target was kind of fun. My husband was a bit like a nature documentarian, following this big cat in her natural habitat. The only bummer was that he made me put back everything I had put in the cart. Apparently they were just...

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She’s Charming, For Sure!

She’s Charming, For Sure!

My daughter's teacher came out into the hallway this morning at drop off to tell me a story from yesterday. All of the kids were given a piece of paper with a printed poem and a blank space for them to draw a picture. They were told to draw their picture and they would read the poem together when they were finished. Since this is kindergarten, the children are all at different reading levels. My daughter reads pretty well already. I know this because she reads to me every night and the stories she tells me actually match the books. This is a little surprising to me considering she spends so much time with my...

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The Swan

The Swan

Last year my daughter took her first dance class. It was a tap and ballet class after school for an hour one day a week. Most of the girls in her grade were in the class so it was an easy sell at first. Then she realized it involved work. My daughter is a little like me, she does not like to overexert herself or sweat. She took a soccer conditioning class a few years ago that had her ready to file a child endangerment claim against me. She literally sat down in the middle of the field several times because she was too hot from running around for two minutes. She raised her hand every time the coach asked if...

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Smile Like You Mean It

Smile Like You Mean It

I am bad with names. When I am telling a story to my husband I usually have to go into great detail to explain the characters involved instead of just saying "Bob." This makes my stories exceptionally long. Well, that and the fact that I have a hard time getting from point A to point B without hitting Z, Y and X while veering off track through the other "points" to the story. Yesterday I was attempting to tell my husband that I found out a talent that a Mom of one of my daughter's classmates has. As per usual, I started at point A and started working my way to point B. Somewhere about mid-alphabet I said "You...

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