Doctor Feelgood

Doctor Feelgood

I had a physical last week. It had been a few years since I had gone in to see a doctor since my primary care physician packed up and moved across the country in 2015. As my new doctor and I were discussing concerns and updating my health history he said "you have put on a little weight since you were here last." I responded with "actually I have lost weight since my last visit." Apparently the medical assistant had transposed numbers when she entered my weight into the computer. I was taken aback for a minute but then I remembered the woman who was in the hospital bed next to me awhile ago. She was trying to...

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Stacation

Stacation

My parents have owned their lake house for six years and my immediate family has never spent the night there. Other family members have stayed, used the amenities like a hotel and left without much more than a wave. I have spent many days at the lake house for family celebrations and saturdays doing yard work. I have also spent days cleaning the house after others have stayed. I have helped my Mom scrub the floors, wiped chocolate fingerprints off windows, fixed broken chairs and carted away beer bottles and the remnants of carryout containers after their visits. I have changed the sheets and vacuumed the...

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The Dude Abides

The Dude Abides

Since I left my nine to five job in January I have become pretty carefree. So much in fact that my husband has been calling me "The Dude". I can't really blame him. I have taken up wearing a uniform of sorts which consists of pajama pants and a CBGB tank top with a sweater that looks like a homeless man was wearing for years before handing it over to me. When I leave the house I throw on a pair of workout pants to "dress it up a little". It usually stops people from trying to hand me dollar bills at the grocery store. I'm not going to lie though, on occasion I just throw on yesterday's pajama pants. Don't judge...

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Lucky #13

Lucky #13

  I got into my car the other day to find that what was once my favorite station on SiriusXM radio had changed. I listened to Faction pretty religiously because they played punk rock. For a few weeks it changed to a Guns N Roses takeover which wasn't all that terrible because there was still some decent music and that band always makes me think of my husband. But when I backed out of my driveway the other day the new format was in full effect. What I heard was the DJ talking about how he likes hanging around bars when the women come out drunk wearing one shoe because it is like "shooting fish in a barrel." My...

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Higher Ground

Higher Ground

If you ever feel like you need a pat on the back for your parenting skills, spend a few days at a water park. I just spent the last hour telling my six year old how kind and sweet and polite she is after spending seventy two hours surrounded by a few hundred partially supervised, overly sweetened little monsters. Their parents were mostly encouraging the bad behavior by looking the other way when their kid cut in line and sprayed another kid in the face with a water gun. They are just kids being kids, learning how to be mean and get their way, learning how to look out for number one. The parents just leaned...

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FEAR

FEAR

My daughter and I attended a birthday party the other day at a gymnastics center. I watched as the kids climbed up a giant wooden pirate ship built into the wall and jumped into a pit filled with little foam blocks. Some of the kids went to the very top drawbridge, while others would only jump from the drawbridge in the middle of the boat. Some kids didn't jump at all, opting to explore other caverns. I thought about what I would have done as a child. I would have been the first one up to the top drawbridge, possibly even looking for a higher spot to jump from. I was a daredevil for sure. I see that in my...

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Trouble-Maker

Trouble-Maker

I was talking to a girlfriend today who is making a bad choice but doesn't really care. She is dating a guy who she knows is bad for her but she can't seem to stay away from him. My response to her was "Well, I know ice cream is bad for me, but sometimes I just really need to eat some ice cream." My friends seem to talk to me when they want the okay to do something bad. I am always the one that will support their decision to live a little dangerously. Sleep with the bad boy? Go for it! Quit your stable job to do something you love that pays dirt? You only live once! Let the kids stay with their grandparents to...

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Swan Song

Swan Song

Since we almost sunk the boat, we decided to get the wave runners in the water to see what we could do to them. As usual, I drove one and my husband took my daughter for a ride on the other. We took a couple laps around the lake and headed in. This was the first time the wave runners had been out this summer so we had to make a few adjustments to the lift when we brought them back to the dock. As we pulled into shore we noticed that a swan was trailing us. This isn't uncommon. The swans are comfortable around people since we all share the lake. What was uncommon was the swan's demeanor. It was very clearly...

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That Gym Scent

That Gym Scent

My gym is pretty eclectic. I can start a work-out on an elliptical machine next to a twenty five year old body builder and end it next to an eighty year old heart patient. One thing they all have in common is an aroma that I don't want to inhale twice. I get it, you work out, you sweat. I'm pretty sure I don't smell like a big bunch of roses after my workout. So last week when a middle aged man jumped on the machine next to me and I caught a big whiff of wonderful, I almost flew right over my handlebars. It was as if he had just walked out of a dryer, all fresh and full of fabric softener. It wasn't a scent I...

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The A Team

The A Team

My daughter's last day of kindergarten was last week. After she picked up her prize for "her excellent French skills and for always being an active participant during class", I picked up her report card. I was happy to see that she had mastered all of the skills expected by the end of kindergarten and had already begun working on her first grade skills. She was actually pretty far ahead in reading, which we were already aware of. She reads "chapter books" to us nightly. One of her teachers had also mentioned to me what a good reader she is. I had inwardly patted myself on the back for reading to her in utero -...

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