Negative Creep

Negative Creep

Have you ever been around someone who is so negative that they literally suffocate any room they are in with their heavy attitude? You can just feel the bad vibes radiating from them and all of a sudden you can't breathe. They tiptoe up with their giant pillow to smother any little rays of sunshine around them. Usually they are totally unaware that they are smothering you or anyone else with their negativity. Half the time they don't even realize that they are, in fact, Eeyore. They think that worrying that their glass is not half full means they are a "glass half full kind of person." They are the person who...

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Miss World

Miss World

I hate when my husband asks questions like "Can I trust you to make a reasonable decision?" I want to respond with a question of my own - Are you new here? Of course you cannot trust me to make a reasonable decision. Reasonable is not exactly in my wheel house. I'm kind of a go big or go home kind of girl. He typically asks these kinds of questions in context to shopping or party planning. I hear questions like this often during the months of November and December when I am Christmas shopping and in the spring when I am planning our daughter's birthday party. I vividly remember him telling me not to get too...

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I’m a Loser, Baby…

I’m a Loser, Baby…

I will never understand people. I would like to say it's them, but who am I kidding, it's me. I don't really play well with others. I'm pretty okay with this too because truth be told, I don't like people as a whole. I mean, I like some people, but mostly in small doses. I prefer to be alone with a book or in front of a computer tapping away at the keyboard. People have too many expectations of me. They expect me to make conversation and listen when they talk. They expect me to care about what they are saying, but they are just waiting for me to stop talking so they can get back to what is on their mind. They...

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What’s a Kid’s Menu?

What’s a Kid’s Menu?

When I was a little girl one of my favorite things to do was go out to dinner at fancy restaurants. My parents and their best friends traveled together often with me and my "cousin" who was a year older than me. We ate lavish dinners while on vacation in places like Cancun Mexico, New York and the Playboy Club Resort somewhere in the midwest. You know, because Playboy was known for their family friendly vacations in the eighties! The children were always allowed to order whatever we wanted whether it be filet mignon or chocolate mousse. I don't know if I ever saw a kids menu as a child - I certainly didn't...

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Pick Your Battles

Pick Your Battles

My husband and I agree on most parenting decisions. One thing we differ on is where we eat meals. I let my kid sit on the family room couch and watch television with a bowl of cereal on most mornings. It is how she eases into her day. I know it is being lazy but I'm not willing to have the battle with her every morning. I am already geared up for the tooth brushing battle, the Mom packs the worst lunches battle and the epic hair battle to which I show up with an arsenal of clips, ties, brushes and two types of detangler. If she has to eat at the table, she will forgo breakfast and go straight to school with no...

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Doctor Feelgood

Doctor Feelgood

I had a physical last week. It had been a few years since I had gone in to see a doctor since my primary care physician packed up and moved across the country in 2015. As my new doctor and I were discussing concerns and updating my health history he said "you have put on a little weight since you were here last." I responded with "actually I have lost weight since my last visit." Apparently the medical assistant had transposed numbers when she entered my weight into the computer. I was taken aback for a minute but then I remembered the woman who was in the hospital bed next to me awhile ago. She was trying to...

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Stacation

Stacation

My parents have owned their lake house for six years and my immediate family has never spent the night there. Other family members have stayed, used the amenities like a hotel and left without much more than a wave. I have spent many days at the lake house for family celebrations and saturdays doing yard work. I have also spent days cleaning the house after others have stayed. I have helped my Mom scrub the floors, wiped chocolate fingerprints off windows, fixed broken chairs and carted away beer bottles and the remnants of carryout containers after their visits. I have changed the sheets and vacuumed the...

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The Dude Abides

The Dude Abides

Since I left my nine to five job in January I have become pretty carefree. So much in fact that my husband has been calling me "The Dude". I can't really blame him. I have taken up wearing a uniform of sorts which consists of pajama pants and a CBGB tank top with a sweater that looks like a homeless man was wearing for years before handing it over to me. When I leave the house I throw on a pair of workout pants to "dress it up a little". It usually stops people from trying to hand me dollar bills at the grocery store. I'm not going to lie though, on occasion I just throw on yesterday's pajama pants. Don't judge...

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Lucky #13

Lucky #13

  I got into my car the other day to find that what was once my favorite station on SiriusXM radio had changed. I listened to Faction pretty religiously because they played punk rock. For a few weeks it changed to a Guns N Roses takeover which wasn't all that terrible because there was still some decent music and that band always makes me think of my husband. But when I backed out of my driveway the other day the new format was in full effect. What I heard was the DJ talking about how he likes hanging around bars when the women come out drunk wearing one shoe because it is like "shooting fish in a barrel." My...

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Higher Ground

Higher Ground

If you ever feel like you need a pat on the back for your parenting skills, spend a few days at a water park. I just spent the last hour telling my six year old how kind and sweet and polite she is after spending seventy two hours surrounded by a few hundred partially supervised, overly sweetened little monsters. Their parents were mostly encouraging the bad behavior by looking the other way when their kid cut in line and sprayed another kid in the face with a water gun. They are just kids being kids, learning how to be mean and get their way, learning how to look out for number one. The parents just leaned...

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