Shameless

Tap dancing in the driveway singing punk rock.

My daughter and I were walking into the gym (my new hang-out) when an SUV pulled up along side of us. The windows were down, the music was up and the thirty-ish scruffy football player looking driver started singing along “Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find…” loud enough for a few rows of cars to hear. I’m not a big fan of pop music, but I have channel surfed enough to recognize the theme song from the Hills (AKA Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield) that he was belting out. (more…)

That Gym Scent

Sneaking around the gym

My gym is pretty eclectic. I can start a work-out on an elliptical machine next to a twenty five year old body builder and end it next to an eighty year old heart patient. One thing they all have in common is an aroma that I don’t want to inhale twice. I get it, you work out, you sweat. I’m pretty sure I don’t smell like a big bunch of roses after my workout. So last week when a middle aged man jumped on the machine next to me and I caught a big whiff of wonderful, I almost flew right over my handlebars. It was as if he had just walked out of a dryer, all fresh and full of fabric softener. It wasn’t a scent I could place, but it had a vague familiarity. I’m guessing it was from some swanky spa I visited years ago with my mother or when I borrowed a towel at a classmates house back in lower school. (more…)

We Need a Professional

One of the first people who learned I was no longer working a nine to five was the woman who cleans our house. This wasn’t because it was a luxury service that we immediately discontinued once we became a one and a half income family. She was actually scheduled to clean right when I began staying at home. She was not accustomed to me being in the house when she came to clean, so she was a little surprised the day she opened the door to find me lounging in my yoga pants and tank top on the couch. When she asked if we would still need her to clean the house, I answered “of course we do!” I know what kind of mess this house can become, and I know that I do not have the skills necessary to keep it clean. I have a hard enough time running around the house doing the pre-clean routine before she arrives. (more…)

Happy Father’s Day

Homemade cards are the best when they are anonymous

My husband asked for one thing for Father’s Day – a homemade card from his daughter. Mini-me is as gifted at gift giving as her mother. She had to gum up the works just a little. She made the card, but forgot to sign her name. This should explain why my card was signed “terrible wife” instead of my usual “bad wife!”

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Worst Boat Ride Ever

Someone has to sink this ship!

My Dad has been talking about owning a boat for a few years. For every birthday, father’s day and Christmas he has asked for a boat, and he has received a variety of small plastic toys in return. This started when my parents bought a house on a lake the same year my daughter was born. They bought a couple of wave runners that summer which they have utilized fairly frequently on sunny days since then. I ride them twice a summer, when we are bringing them into the water for the first time and when we are taking them out of the water for the winter. My husband and I are not really “lake” people. As a matter of fact, I don’t like swimming in lakes. At all. This is why I was not exactly overjoyed when my parents bought a house on a lake. They, however, have slowly been turning into “lake” people since then. And lake people own boats. (more…)

The Girls Get Around

Hanging with the girls…

Being an only child, you need to improvise when you want to have a girls day watching movies, or a dance party. My daughter creates her parties using a couple of three foot tall Disney princesses. Although they normally reside in her playroom, they make an appearance in other rooms of the house while she is playing. Inevitably, they spend a night sitting on the couch in the family room. On these nights, my prankster husband finds it funny to set the girls up in strange places when he leaves for work in the morning. I awake to find Belle next to my bed or Anna peeking out from behind the bathroom door. He takes great pride in freaking me out first thing in the morning. (more…)

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